What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on January 9, 2016

I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. 🏝️🕶️

John Lissu (Guest) on January 8, 2016

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 💑🤣

Janet Mwikali (Guest) on January 3, 2016

I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. I’m just glad it’s not a shot glass. 🥃🍹

Habiba (Guest) on January 3, 2016

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. 🤷‍♂️😆

Maulid (Guest) on January 2, 2016

I'd exercise, but it makes me spill my coffee. ☕🏃‍♂️

Abubakar (Guest) on January 1, 2016

If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at people who are annoying. 🍋😂

Carol Nyakio (Guest) on December 31, 2015

I’ve started using my kids as weights. That counts as working out, right? 🏋️‍♂️👶

Nuru (Guest) on December 3, 2015

😅 I’m still laughing!

Nancy Akumu (Guest) on November 25, 2015

I’m not saying I’m Batman, but you’ve never seen us in the same room together. 🦸‍♂️🦇

Mariam Kawawa (Guest) on November 25, 2015

I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long. 🤷‍♂️😂

Anna Kibwana (Guest) on November 24, 2015

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is? 🍫❓

Latifa (Guest) on November 16, 2015

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️‍♂️

Monica Adhiambo (Guest) on November 12, 2015

How do you make a squid laugh? With ten-tickles! 🦑😂

Victor Kamau (Guest) on November 8, 2015

What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! 🎹🍌

Catherine Mkumbo (Guest) on November 1, 2015

Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because they’re transparent! 👻🤥

Ruth Kibona (Guest) on October 31, 2015

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😲👀

Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on October 25, 2015

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball! 👠⚽

Bahati (Guest) on October 20, 2015

My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry. 💸😭

Omar (Guest) on October 20, 2015

You know you’re getting old when your candles cost more than your cake. 🎂🔥

Rabia (Guest) on October 18, 2015

I love naps. Like, I literally love them. They make me feel better about wasting the day. 😴🛏️

Hashim (Guest) on October 16, 2015

Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💰

Francis Mtangi (Guest) on October 15, 2015

My dream job would be the karma delivery person. 🚚😈

Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on October 10, 2015

This is the kind of joke you don’t forget! 😂

Elizabeth Malima (Guest) on October 8, 2015

I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food. 🍔💻

Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on October 5, 2015

I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏

Baraka (Guest) on September 30, 2015

😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!

Francis Mrope (Guest) on September 26, 2015

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. ⏳😂

Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on September 20, 2015

😆 Saving this one!

Grace Mushi (Guest) on September 20, 2015

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R, but it be the C! 🏴‍☠️🌊

Hashim (Guest) on September 17, 2015

😂 Can't stop laughing!

Maneno (Guest) on September 15, 2015

I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? 😏🤔

Mwagonda (Guest) on September 11, 2015

What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory! 🐍📚

Alice Mrema (Guest) on August 20, 2015

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! 🐑🦘

Mwanais (Guest) on August 18, 2015

Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert? To reach the high notes! 🎶🎵

Rashid (Guest) on August 15, 2015

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗

Latifa (Guest) on August 14, 2015

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃‍♂️

Rabia (Guest) on July 30, 2015

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. 📖💼

Tambwe (Guest) on July 26, 2015

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 🚗💵

Brian Karanja (Guest) on July 26, 2015

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 🍇🍷

Hawa (Guest) on July 14, 2015

I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring. 🧘‍♂️😆

Stephen Malecela (Guest) on July 11, 2015

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. 🍔😆

Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on July 3, 2015

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 💼💸

Halima (Guest) on July 2, 2015

I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee. ☕📖

Juma (Guest) on June 29, 2015

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! 🐑🐝

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on June 9, 2015

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. 😅🏖️

Victor Sokoine (Guest) on June 5, 2015

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. 🤔💬

Nuru (Guest) on June 1, 2015

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business! 🌶️🤭

Sarah Mbise (Guest) on May 30, 2015

Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don’t have chairs! 🐔🥚

Athumani (Guest) on May 28, 2015

Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping! 😴💤

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on May 23, 2015

I'm not lazy; I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😆

Frank Macha (Guest) on May 18, 2015

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯🤪

Salma (Guest) on May 17, 2015

If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴

Salum (Guest) on May 9, 2015

Running late is my cardio. 🕒🏃‍♀️

Asha (Guest) on May 9, 2015

I need six months of vacation, twice a year. 🏖️😂

Fadhila (Guest) on April 7, 2015

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗

Jane Muthui (Guest) on April 5, 2015

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too. 💄😜

Bahati (Guest) on April 2, 2015

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. 🪑✋

Mary Kidata (Guest) on April 1, 2015

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is 'act natural, you’re innocent.' 🏬😅

Mjaka (Guest) on March 28, 2015

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! 🤧💃

Anthony Kariuki (Guest) on March 28, 2015

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza. 🍕🤷‍♂️